Respecting someone’s chosen name and pronouns may seem like a simple act, but for Bennett Kaspar-Williams, it became one of the most painful parts of his childbirth experience.

Bennett, a 37-year-old transgender man, gave birth to his son, Hudson, through a C-section in October 2020. Although he clearly identified as male and used he/him pronouns, hospital staff repeatedly referred to him as “mother” during his pregnancy and delivery.

For Bennett, those words carried a deep emotional weight. At a time when he was already physically vulnerable and preparing to welcome his child, being misgendered made the experience far more difficult.

Bennett began his gender transition in 2014, after realizing he was transgender in 2011. He had top surgery, but he did not undergo lower-body surgery, which meant he was still able to carry a pregnancy.

Choosing to have a child brought him happiness, but the way medical staff treated him showed how strongly traditional assumptions still shape healthcare. Even though his medical paperwork listed male gender markers, many people around him still acted as if giving birth automatically meant being a woman.

After becoming a parent, Bennett began speaking more openly about the need to separate childbirth from gender identity. He wants people to understand that not every person who gives birth is a woman, and not every woman gives birth or wants to.

He explained that pregnancy itself was not the source of his dysphoria. The real pain came from being placed into the role of “mother,” a label he never felt connected to. For him, becoming pregnant only felt possible once he was able to separate the physical ability to give birth from society’s expectations about womanhood.

His story has also been compared to that of Freddy McConnell, another transgender man who gave birth in 2019 and was later featured in a documentary. Freddy had struggled with gender dysphoria since childhood, but said transitioning allowed him to truly enjoy life. When he chose to have a baby, he viewed it practically: he used what his body could do in order to reach his goal of becoming a parent.

Unlike Bennett, Freddy said the hospital staff around him were accepting and respectful, which made his childbirth experience feel powerful and affirming.

Today, both Bennett Kaspar-Williams and Freddy McConnell are raising their children proudly as fathers. Bennett has embraced fatherhood deeply and looks forward to the day when Hudson can understand that his dad carried him.

Their stories challenge old ideas about gender, birth, and family. More than anything, they show that parenthood does not fit into only one traditional image — and that respect in medical spaces can change everything for people whose lives do not match society’s usual expectations.